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February 7, 2010 Helllooooooooooo! Swish here and I'm back from my visit to the Betty Ford Clinic and I'm a much better man for it. Let's take a look at the Hot Stove League around CRABS.The first words that come to mind are FRESH MEAT. So let me give a warm welcome to our newest active owners Duffy in Carolina and Stephen in Soma…er…I mean, Brad in Lancaster. Not sure why Stephen didn't hang around a little bit longer, he really seemed to enjoy our little visit together. But I guess he just can't handle a good thing when he sees it (and he saw it). I also want to welcome Mario, John, Mike and Steve into the fold. The expansion class of 2011 looks a lot more promising than the group of 2007, so let me show them my appreciation: Swish Style. They will likely need something to do for the next 12 months as they anxiously await their opportunity to get real players on their team and I have a few ideas to help them pass the time. The trades have been hot and heavy (too easy, fellas) and the usual suspects have been involved again this time around. The biggest wheeler-dealer this year has been the Somali-Lancaster tag team (and you know I like a little bit of that). Stephen completed two trades before he amscrayed and then Brad knocked out four more. It looks like the strategy is to get quantity over quality with draft picks and less quality for more quality in traded players. This recipe will guarantee them a good shot at the first non expansion team pick in next year's World Famous C.R.A.B.S. Draft. The next busiest horse trader has been Martin "Three-peat" Royston, who has been busy trading picks of quantity for quality. (You know how I like my quantity and I'm hoping Martin will bring some of that quality my way for a three-peat). Martin traded away 15 picks and Scott Kazmir's questionable left arm (I wonder what he did to wear out that elbow) for 7 picks, four of them are of the first round variety. That's using his noodle (too easy) to keep his Athletics on top. Maine's Rick Harriman, who seems a little less wild this season, is going the other way (too easy). He's busy trading quality for quantity and seems destined to own the second, third and fourth rounds, while handing out his top picks to last year's World Series participants. Rick also satisfied his Asian fetish by picking up Koji Uehara. The other new guy in the league, Duffy (love that name, sounds like something Ramone and I tried last week) has quickly traded away most of his picks to plug holes (mmm…) in his infield. By adding the virile Pablo Sandoval and the ravishing Akinori Iwamura, the Sand Gnats made their team better while ridding themselves of Kazuo Matsui's anal fissures (wasn't me, but I'd love to take credit) and Edwin Encarnacion's blown off face (I'd like to take credit for that one too). This team will undoubtedly improve on last year's C.R.A.B.S. all time worst record. That Atlanta Cracker, Rick Milleman, has made a few moves of his own (and I've seen those moves up close and personal). He swapped out two of his 97 pitchers for an early pick in the first round and a much needed outfield bat. Of course, giving up Matt Garza could prove costly, but not if a better pitcher can be landed to replace that little goatee (I bet it tickles) and Cody Ross continues to develop. Other interesting moves from around the league:
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