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Welcome back, old friends- it's me, your friendly neighborhood wall-crawler- back to win your hearts over one more time in this big summer blockbuster. When we last met, the world was in turmoil- the evil Maniac's were charged with trading injured players (Sexson, LaRue), our old heroes the Athletic's and Giant's were in a world of hurt, peering straight into the face of doom. And now, here we are at the almost natural halfway intermission (That lasts about 10 hours). Let's take a peek into the individual lairs, and then I've got your annual special treat for you. (Yippee!) SCOTTSDALE- Thing's are flying high in this hot little town right about now, as ace pitchers Mark Mulder (8-3) and Javier Vazquez (10-1) have paced this team to their best-ever start (And accounted for almost half of the team's wins). They've stayed relatively healthy, and if they can get some production from secondbase and Jason Giambi, they should be a lock for their 3rd post-season berth in four years. REASON TO SMILE- This team's in first place at mid-season, 7 games ahead of the runnerup, and last year's offensive leader, Preston Wilson has only 17 at-bats, and should be back in the fold any moment now. Or how about that Victor Martinez (.308, 7 HR, 30 RBI in 117 ABs) kid? REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- How about Jose Vidro (.210, 67 points in 105 at bats)? That's almost enough to make a grown spider cry!! LOUISVILLE- The little team that almost did. Them little Rednecks purt' durn near rode first place alls the way into the break. Then them's has a lil' stumble, and nows theys a sittin' back o' Scottsdale wit' 60 ta plays. It ain't all bad, though, folks, see'n as how them Rednecks is still in the driver's seat for the Wild Card spot (1 game up on either them Braves or D-Rays. REASON TO SMILE- Vladimir-Bob Guerrero (.338, 14 HR, 48 RBI) and Melvin-John Mora (.368, 10 HR, 38 RBI)- These two have been just absolutely nuts! And Curt-Curt Schilling (9-3, 3.26) ain't not done too bad either!REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- This team has been purty consistent, but if I has to name a fall guy, it's going to be Cliffy-Joe Floyd (.272, 6 HR, 150 Pts.) LONG ISLAND- Now are these cats really this good, or are they just playing around? Up until the last 10 days, they were hangin within striking distance of the big boys, and are still in the thick of things. I'm thinking they've been playing over their heads, and it's about time to start shaking the tree a bit. REASON TO SMILE- It's gotta be the rebirths. We're talking Vinny Castilla (.269, 13 HR, 41 RBI), Jeromy Burnitz (.280, 14 HR, 41 RBI), Rondell White (.291, 7 HR, 34 RBI) and Al Leiter (6-3, 2.08). REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- I'm still not overly overwhelmed with the play of Alfonso Soriano, but my pick would be Jeff Conine (.270, 158 Pts. in 174 ABs)- and the reason he's still playing over Scott Hatteberg is????? OAKLAND- This team just cannot seem to find it's bearings without Randy Johnson in uniform. Remember what happened back in '95 when the Unit was hurt most of the year? Yep, they stumbled to 46 wins after winning the championship in '94. And, now look- they lose Unit in the expansion draft and whammo! 26-34. They've picked up the pace here in the last two weeks, and appear intent on making a move up the ladder with some newly healed bodies, so don't count them out yet. REASON TO SMILE- The obvious would be Bonds or A-Rod, but not for this mild-mannered reporter- I'm going for Little Marco Scutaro (.315, 10 2B, 11 RBI). When Alomar and Vina bit the dust (With almost everyone else on the team), Scutaro was signed, and he's been better than either of those other two wannabes. REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- Barry Zito. Now Kevin Brown ain't exactly been Kevin Brown, but my vote goes for Zito (2-2, 9.43). BELLMORE- The Braves ended their first-ever half season in a tie for first atop the Federal with the Devil Rays of Las Vegas. Not a bad little sitchieation to be in. Now, this team has changed quite a bit since the beginning of the year, and this first place standing is no fluke. This is a powerful team- more so if they can get Marcus Giles back in time. But I'll tell you what- this is going to be one helluva race to the finish line! REASON TO SMILE- How about Adam Dunn's league-leading 18 homeruns, Miguel Batista's 7-1, 3.02 line, Armando Benitez' 13 saves or Michael Barrett falling only 4 points shy of his career high- with 60 games to go!!! REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- Marcus Giles' seperated torso, and Kaz Matsui not living up to expectations. LAS VEGAS- The D-Ray's managed to take the last two games against Bellmore to knot this whole thing up going into the second half. This team's parts seem to be much greater than it's sum, but they've still got time to take the division, or fight a couple team's for the Wild Card. Will they be able to do it with Jose Hernandez playing the role of Eric Chavez? REASON TO SMILE- Manny's being Manny (.345, 17 HR, 43 RBI) , Konerko (.275, 13 HR, 31 RBI) seems to have rebounded from his '03 horror show, and little Timmy Hudson (5-2, 3.36). REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- If Eric Chavez' broken hand wasn't enough, how 'bout Bartolo Colon (5-4, 6.26)?. SACRAMENTO- Team injured has spent most of the season on the down, but it just might be time for these guys to make their move. Larry Walker and Trot Nixon have yet to play this season (But should soon), Chipper Jones, Ryan Klesko, Bill Mueller and Ray Durham have also been hurt. So, with the majority of those guys already back or close to being back, it's not too much of a stretch to figure that if they can stay within two games with everybody hurt, when everyone gets healthy, they can take over the division. Again. REASON TO SMILE- Jason Schmidt (6-3, 2.53) has been a rock, and the old man himself, Barry Larkin (.313, 22 RBI) has been invaluable. REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- Nixon- hurt, Walker- hurt, Klesko- hurt, Mueller- hurt, Durham- hurt, Chipper- hurt and sucking bad. Where's the help???? CHICAGO- This must be the year that the Sox were expected to do something and then don't. While they remain only 7 games out, it was not a good first half for the Pale Hose- and now they have to look at making a climb without their star Magglio Ordonez. Them's what you call a tough nut to crack. REASON TO SMILE- Eric Byrnes (.313, 114 Pts.) has been a sparkplug since his recall, Moises Alou (15 HR, 36 RBI) has been outstanding and Frank Thomas (.307, 15 HR, 38 RBI) is having his best season in a few years. REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- How much does Magglio mean to this team? We shall soon find out! NEW ENGLAND- The Snow Balls' have really picked up the pace here in the last few weeks to take control of the division while looking for their first playoff berth since 1999 (And first ever in sunny New England). They've got the firepower and experience to do the job- do they have the pitching? REASON TO SMILE- How about Ken Griffey, Jr. loggin 200 at bats- forget about the 16 HR, 44 RBI and team-leading 300 points! REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- Derek Lowe and Sidney Ponson are a combined 5-6, 7.26- and them's the aces! CRABAPPLE- The Maniac's have been bouncing around the top of this division all season, and now find themselves 2 games behing New England for the lead. The frustrating part about that for Crabapple fans is that New England is comprised of basically ex-Maniac's, so in essence, Crabapple is losing to their old self!! REASON TO SMILE- Sean Casey has either discovered the fountain of youth or the fountain of Balco! Since his arrival, Casey has not stopped hitting, coming in at .364, 6 HR, 23 RBI. REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- A number of players had fantastic first halves (Casey, Kent, Lawton, & Grissom to name a few), and they're still 2 games out. Will the pitching (And newly acquired Esteban Loaiza) help to overtake the old Crabapple? ATLANTIC CITY- The Gambler's have tried going the Sacramento route- barely have enough players to field a team- and then Whammo! Get them all healthy and win the whole thing. It's not as far-fetched as it may sound- Furcal's healthy, they've now got Reggie Sanders to go with Gary Sheffield and a now healthy Kevin Mench....They're only 6 games out..... REASON TO SMILE- Juan Uribe. This team would not be this close without him. Whoulda thunk he'd pop 6 HR, and hit .300 after they picked him off the scrap heap earlier in the year? And how about this Johnny Estrada kid??REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- Helloooo, Kenny Lofton...Mike Hampton...anyone home? NEW HAMPSHIRE- Now, this team has definitely followed the Crabapple lead of get everyone out of here, and then let's see what we got! This is not at all the team that started the season (Except for Brian Schneider- I think he was here), and now they sit 9 games off the pace, but with renewed hope due to the arrival this week of shortstop Nomar Garciaparra. REASON TO SMILE- The team is 3-0 when Nomar plays, so if he plays every game the rest of the way, they should finish with a league-record tying 83-37 record! REASON TO CALL DR. KERVORKIAN- The aforementioned Schneider (.198, 3 HR, 10 RBI) has been a little less than stellar behind the plate and closer Rocky Biddle (0-2, 7.27) has been traumatic, yeah that's it- traumatic. Well, that's our trip- but now, what you've all been waiting for- the 32nd annual, All-Acey Mid-Season All-Star team, starring Morey Amsterdam!!!. Well, that's the big show, It's time for me to web-sling on out of here! Until next time, Aces everyone! | |||