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Good day! Allow me to introduce myself- my name is Barney Pokorny. I was contacted by C.R.A.B.S. this week after they announced the suspension of Ace Gumley after some untowardly comments about a young retarded fellow on American Idol. I will be taking over his column until his suspension is lifted. For the past four years, I've written articles- often quite humorous, I might add- for Computer Programmers Weekly, and have been the President of the Star Trek/Vulcan fan club for 12 years as well as a Dungeon Master for the past two decades. This is my first introduction to the world of C.R.A.B.S.- in fact I'd never heard of the league until they contacted me this week. I've never been one to pass up $20, so here I am! I've been told to review the Federal League, so I've run all of the statistics and probablitilies through my Dell computer and here's what I've come up with. I so hope you enjoy it!
LAS VEGAS DEVIL RAYS- For my very first prediction, I'm going to step out on a limb and pick the Devil Rays to win their third division title and first in the two-year old Federal League. The addition of Bobby Abreu to an already stellar starting lineup should provide enough oomph to edge them past an aging Sacramento team and a stagnant Bellmore lineup. Abreu, Manny Ramirez, Paul Konerko and Eric Chavez could form the most powerful quartet in the league, and if Clint Barmes can return from injury at the same level he was playing last season, the lineup does not have a weak link. The rotation is a little thin, but solid 1-6 at least. Bartolo Colon and Tim Hudson should keep the Rays from any extended losing streaks at the top of the rotation. The bullpen hopes to receive a full season from Armando Benitez, who will become C.R.A.B.S. all-time saves leader when he notches number 4 this season, and the team brought in Neal Cotts and Justin Duchsherer as emergency replacements. The depth is much improved over previous seasons, though there is a hole behind Brian Roberts at second, replacing the retired Bret Boone. Las Vegas has finished .500 or better in 4 of the last 5 years, and this is probably the most talented team they've fielded in that time. BARNEY'S CALL- FIRST PLACE, FEDERAL LEAGUE BELLMORE BRAVES- After a huge talent makeover after their inaugural season in 2004, Bellmore pretty much stood pat following last season's 62-win, second place finish. Two notable additions from the Free Agent Draft were all-time C.R.A.B.S. homerun leader Barry Bonds and starting pitcher Brett Myers. Myers should immediately become the ace of a solid staff lacking in star power. Odalis Perez led the Braves with only 8 wins a year ago, but he should be a perfect complement to Myers as the number two starter. If Erik Bedard and Brandon Claussen realize their potential, and Joel Piniero can return to form, the Braves will have one of the best and deepest rotations in the league. But, that's alot of ifs for a team that's pitching caused their downfall a season ago. The bullpen is again set with 2005 All-Star Chad Cordero leading the way with Danys Baez in reserve. Offensively, the Braves should be just fine with stellar production at every position. David Wright looks to take over leadership of the team after a brilliant rookie season in which he led the team with a team-record 30 doubles. Barry Bonds returns after missing his final season in Oakland entirely. If Bonds can return to form, the Braves feature a power-packed lineup including David Ortiz, Carlos Lee, Alfonso Soriano and Adam Dunn- each of whom hit 25 or more homeruns in 2005. The Braves could runaway with the division or the pitching could drop them to third. With those kind of questions..... BARNEY'S CALL- SECOND PLACE, FEDERAL LEAGUE SACRAMENTO GIANTS- After qualifying for their 10th playoff appearance in 12 seasons including their league-record 8th division title and 6 World Series appearances, the Giants appear ready to let someone else take over the favorite role. Their initial draft which served them so well over 12 seasons is starting to show it's age with the retirement of outfielder Larry Walker, leaving Sacramento with five players from the 1994 team (Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez, Chipper Jones and Ryan Klesko). While the team has definitely stayed in contention through the years, with the exception of shortstop Edgar Renteria last year, they haven't added a true impact player since John Smoltz joined the bullpen in 2002. Billy Wagner could be an important piece this season as he inherits the role Smoltz used to fill as the stopper in the bullpen. The rotation is basically the same unit the Giants trot out every season, just expecting less from Maddux, Glavine, and due to injury, Pedro Martinez. Jason Schmidt and Smoltz now head a still stable, but not quite as dominant rotation. This is after all, a team that has led C.R.A.B.S. in ERA a league-record six times, and whose players have won an incredible 6 Cy Young Awards. The offensive starters return intact from last season with the exception of Walker, who should be replaced by rookie Cory Sullivan. For a team that's relied heavily on a dominant pitching staff, this offense isn't strong enough to overcome anything less- especially if Todd Helton (Declining point totals 3 seasons running) cannot return to form. BARNEY'S CALL- THIRD PLACE, FEDERAL LEAGUE CHICAGO WHITE SOX- After losing in their 3rd World Series appearance in 2003, the wheels fell off in the Windy City, with the team winning 49 and 52 games, respectively, since the Fall Classic. To halt the slide, the Sox didn't reel in any of the big names in the Free Agent Draft, but instead concentrated on solidifying the team's depth, while hoping some of it's stars can return from injuries. Shortstop Bobby Crosby and outfielder Magglio Ordonez should be the two determining factors for how this team fares as Crosby suffered through an injury-plagued sophomore year in which he played in 40 less games than his rookie season, yet fell only 60 points shy of matching his 2004 total. Magglio Ordonez has hit only 14 homeruns in 89 games combined over the last two seasons after hitting 20+ in each of his first five seasons. A return to form from both is crucial to the teams' success. In the event both stumble in their return, Chicago brought in rookie shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt and veteran outfielder Pedro Feliz to fallback on. Frank Thomas is another hit by the injury bug as he's only been on the field for 94 games since coming over from Oakland in 2004. Still, in those 94 games, he's hit 29 homeruns. Thomas' age prohibits alot of excitement about a full comeback, but he could prove to be the teams' wildcard. The starting rotation could use an infusion of good young talent as last year's staff contributed to a league-worst 5.23 ERA. Mike Mussina (6-5) is the only returning starter with a winning record- and again, the injury bug limited him to only 11 starts a year ago. Eric Milton was brought in as a Free Agent last season and turned in a horrible year (8-10, 7.03). An improvement is definitely expected. The two pitchers the team will lean on to step up are Bronson Arroyo (7-12, 4.51) and Chris Young (7-9, 4.88 as a rookie). The bullpen is again led by 2005 All-Star B.J. Ryan, who saved 8 games last season, and should be in line to challenge the team record of 14 held by Jose Mesa. Injuries and bad luck have taken a toll on the 2003 American League Champs, but if the worm were to turn, they could challenge for a wildcard spot, but if the injury trend continues....BARNEY'S CALL- FOURTH PLACE, FEDERAL LEAGUE Well, that's my initial look into C.R.A.B.S. Federal League- home of 3 C.R.A.B.S. World Championships and 10 World Series appearances. I hope that I will be able to return at some point during the season to further pontificate. Regards, Barney | |||